All through my more recent years.
My peers.
My family.
I couldn't make anybody happy.
Not them.
Not me.
I'd put on a smile like a cheap dollar store mask.
I'd say I'm fine when anyone would ask.
I'd try to make that fake smile real.
Try to give something that would appeal.
If you hide it eventually it will go away.
If you smile hard enough eventually it'll stay.
The thoughts that surround me will disappear.
Everything will be better next year.
Everything will be better next year.
I said.
I rinsed and repeated.
Again and again
Now I'm still here. And so are the thoughts.
If I keep lying here eventually I'll rot.
I can't keep c